Om jou kind te vergoed of nie - Amy Kleinhans

Jou kind sal net elke taak obtimatiseer indien dit direk in lyn is met sy/haar hoogste waarde. Die beste motivering kom van binne en nie van buite nie. Indien jy vir jou kind kan wys hoe om self die koppeling tussen die huidige taak en hulle persoonlike hoogste waarde/doelwit te maak, is die oorlog gewen.
Ek het onlangs ‘n insident gehad met my seun, Thomas, 9. Ons is besig om sy leestegniek te verbeter by die instituut, Wise Eyes waar hy weeklikse sessies moet bywoon om hom te help. As deel van die program moet hy elke dag ook leesoefeninge doen by die huis.

Hier is ‘n voorbeeld van wat in my lewe al gebeur het: Een middag na ‘n sessie het hy verskriklik begin huil en gese dat hy dit haat om hierdie sessies by te woon en die huisoefeninge te doen. Hy het dit duidelik gemaak dat hy nie omgee of hy skool druip omdat hy nie kan lees nie ens. Ek het as terugvoer ‘n paar vrae aan hom gerig wat hom die lig laat sien het.

Amy: Thomas, wil jy eendag ‘n helikopter vlieg?
Thomas: Ja, Mammie
Amy: Weet jy, jy het matriek en ‘n kwalifikasie nodig om ‘n helikopter te vlieg?
Thomas: Ja, Mammie
Amy: Weet jy, jy het nodig om te kan lees om matriek deur te kom?
Thomas: Ja, Mammie
Amy: Wil jy eendag onafhanklik wees, jou eie geld verdien sodat ek en jou pa nie meer vir jou hoef te se wat om te doen nie?
Thomas: Ja, Mammie, nou verstaan ek

Na die kort gesprek doen hy nou sonder ‘n stryd elke dag sy oefeninge en verstaand hoe dit hom gaan baat om sy groter droom
te bereik.

‘n Interessante ekstrak uit ‘n praatjie van Alfie Kohn die ander dag gelees.

“Extracts form an article written by Alfie Kohn
Studies find Reward Often No Motivator/Creativity and intrinsic interest diminish if task is done for gain.
In one study, girls in the fifth and sixth grades tutored younger children much less effectively if they were promised free movie tickets for teaching well. The study, by James Gabarino, now president of Chicago’s Erikson Institute for Advanced Studies in Child Development, showed that tutors working for the reward took longer to communicate ideas, got frustrated more easily, and did a poorer job in the end than those who were not rewarded. Rewards encourage people to focus narrowly on a task, to do it as quickly as possible and to take few risks. “If they feel that ‘this is something I have to get through to get the prize,’ they’re going to be less creative,” Amabile said. Second, people come to see themselves as being controlled by the reward. They feel less autonomous, and this may
interfere with performance. “To the extent one’s experience of being self?determined is limited,” said Richard Ryan, associate psychology professor at the University of Rochester, “one’s creativity will be reduced as well.” Finally, extrinsic rewards can erode intrinsic interest. People who see themselves as working for money, approval or competitive success find their tasks less pleasurable, and therefore do not do them as well.”